This battle never ends…….
I feel really good for a while. But it doesn’t last. Eventually everything comes crashing back down. It is truly exhausting….
I have never considered the possibility that I have become manic-depressive, but tonight I am wondering….The last several weeks, maybe even months, have been really good. But, now, the last couple of days I haven’t been sleeping. Irritable. Overwhelmed. Tired.
I should be in a great mood today. I just made reservations for a “vacation of a lifetime” for my family. A trip my kids will never forget. Everyone is SO excited! Why not me? Why I am not sharing the excitement? It’s our first “real” family vacation. Ever. Sure, we’ve taken some short trips before, but this one is huge. I’ve been working my butt off to make it happen…..
Is it because I’m working my butt off in a cubicle in corporate America? Instead of doing the job I was born to do? But I can’t do that job any more…..So, does that mean I wasn’t really meant to do that job? But I was good at it. Damn good.
And now – I am just tired. Just. plain. tired.